The Small Branch

I keep meaning to post on this, but in all my abundant free time, I keep forgetting (can you feel the sarcasm?) A few weeks ago, as I was trying to deal with my down in the dumps moods of late, I was lamenting all the mistakes I make with my kids and all the horrible ways they could be messed up because of them. I am trying to learn to pray through these moods and issues, because I know these reminders are from Satan, not the Lord, so I shouldn't be dwelling on them. This time, the Lord spoke to me in a beautiful way. I had been thinking about the fact that God knew the mistakes I was going to make, the sin that was going to plague me, before He went to the cross for those very sins. This time, He twisted that a little for me to help me understand that He knew what mistakes I was going to make before He gave me the children He wanted me to have. He knew those mistakes. He knew those ways that the mistakes would affect the kids. He knew it all. But still He chose to bless me with fo

Last night, we had a thunderstorm. Yes, we ended up with all four kids sleeping in our room (3 on the bed with me and 1 on the floor with Daddy!). It was not a very restful night. But this morning, in true 5 year old form, I get the rosy outlook - "Mommy, last night God got a lot of strikes, didn't He? And Satan didn't get any. Not even a spare!" I love kids!!

OK, it has been a while since I blogged, but today I am feeling a little inspired. I am struggling mightily, again. Guilt. All the mistakes of the past. All the mistakes of the present. Guilt. I was listening to some music this morning, trying to focus on praise, when a song came on talking about how much I was forgiven. And grace washed over me, again. I am forgiven. Right there in the laundry room, while folding to mountains of clothes, I said it, out loud - "Go away, Satan, and take your guilt with you! I am forgiven, and that is all there is to it!" Peace. Followed quickly by my usual need to find a friend of my childhood. I do some googling, again. Maybe success this time, maybe not. But why do I have this terrible need to keep looking to people of my past? What am I clinging to? What am I running from? This week is a restful break. Don't get me wrong, there is still work to do. But instead of having school, we are just going to do some cleaning and relax a little. Y