The Small Branch

I feel sorry for people who don't have children. Not so much people who can't have children, but people who purposely choose not to have children. Why? Because there are so many aspects of God's character that I understand only because I am a parent. So, here is something I am learning, because I understand something of being a parent. Our children remain safe in our homes simply because they believe we love them and are there for them. We long to bless them with good things, we long to give them more than they ever dream of, better than they can think of, we love our children, truly and earnestly, with everything we are. They cannot fathom it. They cannot understand this truth, because it is bigger than they can understand. We long to bless them, but we cannot when they are in constant rebellion. We long to give them good things, but we are prevented from doing so because of constant disobedience. We cannot give them these good things, because we are constantly cleaning up

I haven't blogged in a while because I have been on my usual roller coaster ride. I'm not talking about life being crazy hectic, although it is, I'm talking about the spiritual roller coaster. Some days, I feel God's presence in an awesome way. Other days, I feel like I am wandering around in the dark. I was praying about it this week and it hit me - I am always focusing on my position and that is where my problem lies. Last week we were looking at Deuteronomy 12,13, and 26 in our CBS class. One of the main themes of these chapters is worship. We talked a lot about how to worship - not just on Sunday mornings, but with our lives. I love it when God uses His Word to speak to us! It hit me, I was (and am, as I struggle) pridefully focusing on me and what I need to do to get close to God when all I need to do is focus on God and then I am close to Him. So when I start focusing on me and where I am and what I am doing, I am starting to fill that with praise songs and prayer

Wow! I have nothing profound to say or even think. I remember why we do school year around - so we can take frequent breaks. Every other school year I have just tried to average 15 days a month and been content. But last year, I worked hard in the fall, expecting to move near the end of the school year. Of course, that didn't happen. So we ended up taking a longer than usual summer break (sort of) and started our school year with August 1. We have been going full tilt since then. Obviously, that is more than 15 school days in August - actually, it is 23 days. Why am I pushing? Once again, a move at some point in this school year is hanging over us. I think I am going nuts. We are going to have to do shorter periods of intensity. No one seems to be able to handle this! Next week - a shortened week. Then - a whole week off!

This week we are having VBS at our home (we don't have a church building). People keep asking me how I am handling the stress and I have to admit, I'm not the slightest bit stressed about it. Oh, I was, earlier in the summer, about a few things. But now, nope, not a bit. God gave me a great picture as to why that is, and I want to share it. In the first half of the last century and previous to that time, when a boy "liked" a girl, he would meet her at her house in the morning and carry her books to school for her. That is what Jesus does for us every day. He meets us at the doorway of our awakening and willingly takes all our "books" and carries them for us. We know He is going the right way, so we just gaze lovingly at Him and listen and walk along with Him. He is carrying our "books", so it is no big deal for us. He is leading the way, so we don't have to pay attention to anything but Him. We just have to choose to give Him our &q

Not that I think there are that many who read this, but, . . . I'm still here. Still here in Columbia,SC. Still waiting to find out our next assignment. Knowing that the time is ticking and the job is finishing here. Knowing that we have to move somewhere - staying here only happens without a job and we don't feel that is likely (yet). I am not a patient waiter. Perhaps that is why I find myself having to wait so much. Perhaps God is once again sanding away at my impatience. If you've been reading this, you know that it was almost a year ago that we first had moving preparations beginning. We were so excited!! Then, as you know, that didn't happen. Nothing else seems nearly so exciting. Nothing else seems to be the right fit. I can't help this nagging feeling (maybe just hope?) that we will eventually end up in the great north, but how is a much larger mystery than ever. I always think about Joseph and how long he had to wait for his dreams to be ful

I keep meaning to post on this, but in all my abundant free time, I keep forgetting (can you feel the sarcasm?) A few weeks ago, as I was trying to deal with my down in the dumps moods of late, I was lamenting all the mistakes I make with my kids and all the horrible ways they could be messed up because of them. I am trying to learn to pray through these moods and issues, because I know these reminders are from Satan, not the Lord, so I shouldn't be dwelling on them. This time, the Lord spoke to me in a beautiful way. I had been thinking about the fact that God knew the mistakes I was going to make, the sin that was going to plague me, before He went to the cross for those very sins. This time, He twisted that a little for me to help me understand that He knew what mistakes I was going to make before He gave me the children He wanted me to have. He knew those mistakes. He knew those ways that the mistakes would affect the kids. He knew it all. But still He chose to bless me with fo

Last night, we had a thunderstorm. Yes, we ended up with all four kids sleeping in our room (3 on the bed with me and 1 on the floor with Daddy!). It was not a very restful night. But this morning, in true 5 year old form, I get the rosy outlook - "Mommy, last night God got a lot of strikes, didn't He? And Satan didn't get any. Not even a spare!" I love kids!!

OK, it has been a while since I blogged, but today I am feeling a little inspired. I am struggling mightily, again. Guilt. All the mistakes of the past. All the mistakes of the present. Guilt. I was listening to some music this morning, trying to focus on praise, when a song came on talking about how much I was forgiven. And grace washed over me, again. I am forgiven. Right there in the laundry room, while folding to mountains of clothes, I said it, out loud - "Go away, Satan, and take your guilt with you! I am forgiven, and that is all there is to it!" Peace. Followed quickly by my usual need to find a friend of my childhood. I do some googling, again. Maybe success this time, maybe not. But why do I have this terrible need to keep looking to people of my past? What am I clinging to? What am I running from? This week is a restful break. Don't get me wrong, there is still work to do. But instead of having school, we are just going to do some cleaning and relax a little. Y

Different. What does that mean? We are called to be different. How? By our actions, sure. But how? By our appearance , maybe? These are questions I wrestle with on different levels all the time. There are several culturally accepted behaviors (or lack of behavior) that I wonder about. Often times, the only ones who can give me truly Biblical reasons for doing or not doing these things are the ones going against what is culturally acceptable. The ones who are just going with the flow don't really have anything Biblical to back it up - they offer me excuses that show me that they, too, have never really thought of it, no matter how mature of Christians they are. Are these salvation issues? No, we are saved by grace through faith in Jesus Christ. But obedience matters. Obedience shows the fruit of our faith. It grows us to be more like Him. It binds us more tightly to Him. I would love to get together a group of mature Christian women to discuss a number of topics - birth control, hea

I love princess movies. What girl doesn't? Disney had sorely disappointed me with The Princess and the Frog - it was evil! They have now redeemed themselves, for the time being, with Tangled. What a great movie! As I was watching it today, for the third time, it hit me why I love princess movies. There are so many great parallels. All those places in our hearts that these speak to - speaking Jesus to us in powerful ways, that is, if we listen with a heart that is His. If you haven't seen it, you might be a little confused, but bear with me. We were at the scene where they put up the lanterns. They were singing about never seeing the light until they had seen each other. I recalled all those verses about Jesus being the Light of the world. The only Light that truly shines brightly enough for us to see. Without the Light of Christ I can't see anything. The last part of the movie really gets me. He is dying, and she is willing to sacrifice her freedom forever to save him. Only

"He has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son He loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins." Colossians 1:13-14 One of the questions from our Community Bible Study lesson this week was "When a piece of jewelry is taken to a pawn shop, it must be 'redeemed' by its owner for a certain price within a certain length of time, or it becomes the property of the shop owner. Using this analogy, describe what happened to you when you were redeemed by the blood of Christ." Wow! what a great analogy. In the beginning, we belonged to God, but we pawned ourselves so that we could experience the supposed pleasure of sin - only to find ourselves slaves in the pawn shop, slaves to the master pawn broker - Satan. Then Jesus came in, and laid down the price to get us out of there and take us home with Him - laid down His very life - and so, in our extreme gratitude for being released from this prison, we stay

I keep meaning to post on this, but for some crazy reason, I never seem to have much time. So, here goes... I am really concerned at the state of the children in our country. Yes, there are orphans all over the world, thousands here, even, but I am not talking about true orphans. I am talking about all the pseudo-orphans. Mom's career is more important, or a bigger lifestyle, or whatever. The main thing is, Mom fails to be Mom. Not to even mention the absent fathers - whether because they choose to be workaholics or because they have truly left for good. Divorce is rampant. All parents think about is themselves and what they want. Kids are sent to school, not because that is what is best but just because Mom doesn't want to have to deal with them all day. Amazing! The most important part of survival for our nation, our faith, everything is our children. But yet we fail to anchor them to Christ. We let them float - adrift on a sea of tolerance and acceptance. God

I am learning something valuable along with my toddler. She is 3 years old and has just started speech therapy. Her language use and comprehension is great, but her articulation needs a lot of work. You see, she has a lot of wrong pronunciation habits developed over the last few years. The thing is, I really expected to see major improvement after each session. Her speech pathologist says she is doing great and that her progress is, and should continue to be, quick. I am, however, not so sure. I guess I wanted to see instant fixes. Every time I work with her on the assignments for the week, I feel frustrated that we are still working on the same things. But it has only been a few weeks! It hit me how much this is an illustration of a great difficulty I have. I want instant fixes for everything. Quick answers, swift decisions, 180 degree turns on a dime. But there are bad habits I have spent a lifetime developing (and unlike my toddler, my lifetime has spanned more than a f

Is there ever enough time for everything? Not if I am looking at my to do list, that's for sure. But God gives me the perfect amount of time for His to do list. If only I could remember that! I wish He would write it out for me each morning - a day timer for each day - I would be totally willing to follow it. But life doesn't happen on a schedule. God gives us "to do's " that He saw coming, but we can't handle the same way if we saw them ahead of time. Does that make any sense? Anyway, I feel like my life is one reaction after another. Not that I don't try to plan some things out, but most of those things fall to the wayside as more important things take their place in my day. Today is one of those days. I am so overwhelmed that I actually called my dear husband to ask him to bring dinner home with him. I hate doing that! But that has been my day. And the night is still young (as a stare blurry eyed at the screen wondering how many more secon

I love being a mom. It is never boring, that's for sure. Honestly, I don't know how women can stand to work and be away from their kids so much - I think I would go nuts! But sometimes, I have to remind myself that things are not meant to be a bed of roses. Sometimes, most of the time, things can get really tough. Discipling (yes, I said discipling , not disciplining, as in training as a disciple of Christ) kids through life can get to be a messy business. It is definitely a hands on activity - although it gets to be more hands off as they get older, which actually is even harder, I think. Anyway, I digress as usual. One thing that God is always working on with me is the importance of people rather than "To Do" lists and stuff. I like cleanliness. I despise clutter. The trash can and I are good friends. However, with four kids running around all the time, my house gets messy and stays that way most of the time. A beautiful woman of God shared with me

"When an evil spirit comes out of a man, it goes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it. Then it says, 'I will return to the house I left.' When it arrives, it finds the house unoccupied, swept clean and put in order. Then it goes and takes with it seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there. And the final condition of that man is worse than the first. That is how it will be with this wicked generation." Matthew 12:43-45 Have you ever looked into an abandoned house? Even if the owners have cleaned it out well and cared for it well while they lived there, it doesn't take long for it not to be so abandoned anymore. Mice, bugs, and critters of all sorts move in. Dust and filth cover everything. Sometimes people come in to stay - and don't always have the best of motives or intentions. The point is, the house is no longer clean and occupied by people who are taking care of it. Why? Because a new owner was

Have you ever been thinking about something a God just gives you the perfect illustration to get you through? I was thinking today about how much I have felt like I was just barely holding my head above water, drowning in all that is demanded of me daily, when God gave me the perfect comfort. Of course, it comes from His Precious Word. Matthew 14:22-36 tells of Jesus walking on water, across the Sea of Galilee to join His disciples. They are afraid, but He says "Be brave! It is I. Don't be afraid." (v. 27b). Enter Peter on the scene - " 'Lord, is it you?' Peter asked. 'If it is, tell me to come to you on the water.' 'Come,' Jesus said. So Peter got out of the boat. He walked on the water toward Jesus. But when Peter saw the wind, he was afraid. He began to sink. He cried out, 'Lord! Save me!' Right away Jesus reached out His hand and caught him. 'Your faith is so small!' He said. 'Why did you doubt me?'

Have you ever noticed what a great liar Satan is? The trouble is, he is so good at it, he sprinkles in enough truth, appeals to our greatest desire, and BAM , we believe it. Most women have one, deep down, greatest desire. For someone to truly love them. (Men do too, but different somehow) Anyway, so what does Satan say? "I love you, I want you to have the best" - the trouble is what he means is "I love to take you for myself, I want you to have what furthers the best for me". Subtle differences between truth and what he says. God loves us, really, not for Himself, but because He really loves us. God wants what is best for us simply because it is best for us. Wow! Why can't I filter through these lies better? Ahhhh , but one day, the lies will all be smashed and the truth will be out for all to see. I can't wait!

Well, I am officially in a foggy, boggy, funk (again). You would think, as often as this happens to me, I would be used to it. Or, even better, be able to trust enough to actually get out of it. I feel like I keep falling into a mud pit, crying to be pulled out, and then jumping back in. All those lies I listen to. All that trust I lack. School is a great example. People ask me how to homeschool , and I give them the patented homeschoolers reply - "What works for us, probably won't work for you. Here are some ideas, but you really have to figure it out for your family." The problem is, figuring it out for your family can be very scary. And even when you think you have it figured out, something changes and you have to flex with it. I have friends who run the gamut from total unschooling to sitting down at the table all morning to have school. Personally, I like something in between, maybe even leaning toward unschooling . My husband, however, definitely lea

Have you ever been on a long vacation? One where you stay in a hotel. Maybe it wasn't even a vacation, but work. Have you noticed how, as nice as it is in the beginning, the eating out really starts to annoy you? You really enjoy eating the "junk" (even if it isn't too junkie) at first, but after a while you really crave some good veges, some plain dish that you call "comfort food". Something homemade. Now, if you are one of those people who eat out every meal anyway, you don't realize that you are missing out on these wonderful foods from home, but if you almost never eat out, it hits you hard. "Why in the world are you talking about this?" you ask. I'll tell you why. 1 Peter 2:2-3 tells us we are to crave the Word of God. Crave it! Not just fit it in to our schedule. Not just fill out a Bible Study lesson. Not just read it after we have read all the other books we think are great, but crave it! That is like our food situation above. When

Today, I am wondering if I shouldn't have called this blog "The Chipped Stone" or something like that. We have been studying a lot about cornerstones and capstones, walls and construction this week. (1 Peter 2) One thing I have learned, though, is that every stone has its own shape to fit in its perfect place in the wall. It takes a lot of chiseling and smoothing for the stone to be the right shape. Sometimes, I feel like I am being chiseled, cracked, repaired, chiseled, cracked, repaired, over and over again - as I move in the wrong way while the Master Mason is working and cause each crack and chip. Forgiveness is another thing we talked about. Who do I have trouble forgiving? Me. Plain and simple. Usually I feel like the ultimate screw up. Like everything I do is not only messing me up, but messing up everyone around me and totally dishonoring God. Total surrender is very hard for me. I have been put in positions where I am totally on my own too many times t

Have you ever thought that you could clearly see something that God was working out for you - so clearly that you were almost positive that some certain thing was going to happen. And then it doesn't. SLAM! Down you go. This happened to us in a big way this last week. We were sure. We saw all the ways that things were working out, often in totally illogical ways, working towards one specific life changing event. And then it didn't happen. So, were we wrong? Was God ignoring us? Was He just messing with us, toying with our hopes and dreams? NO - to all of the above. We were right, God was working in big ways in our lives, just not the ways we thought. He never ignores us. He never messes with us or toys with our hopes and dreams. So what happened? We were called to stretch and grow some more, that's what. I once read a beautiful illustration of our walk with Christ. It is like climbing a cliff. It is difficult, but we grow stronger because of it. And then,

Well, here I am again. Trying to find the time to put some thoughts down. I actually have missed blogging somewhat. I know that I am not a gifted writter, so my thoughts are often random, but putting them down seems to help me sort them out properly.