Hmmmm...
Well, I am officially in a foggy, boggy, funk (again). You would think, as often as this happens to me, I would be used to it. Or, even better, be able to trust enough to actually get out of it. I feel like I keep falling into a mud pit, crying to be pulled out, and then jumping back in. All those lies I listen to. All that trust I lack.
School is a great example. People ask me how to homeschool, and I give them the patented homeschoolers reply - "What works for us, probably won't work for you. Here are some ideas, but you really have to figure it out for your family." The problem is, figuring it out for your family can be very scary. And even when you think you have it figured out, something changes and you have to flex with it. I have friends who run the gamut from total unschooling to sitting down at the table all morning to have school. Personally, I like something in between, maybe even leaning toward unschooling. My husband, however, definitely leans to the sitting at the table all morning. This leads to a struggle for me to balance everything out. And then, there is just balancing the time - for school, housework, errands, all the outside the house activities my kids want to do (some of which actually are necessary!). Over and over, I have asked God to give me a plan from now until my youngest graduates. A schedule, a syllabus you might say. You see, pre-kids, I did the classroom teaching thing. It is funny how people who don't homeschool hear that and think, "That is why they can homeschool and I can't," but people who homeschool realize what a HUGE handicap that is. Being a classroom teacher, you are used to being told what to teach when, and even a lot of the how. And teaching 35 kids is totally different than just one (or even four, for the few subjects everyone can do together). Anyway, I digress. Like I said, I want God to give me a syllabus from preschool to high school. Do you know what He tells me every time I ask - "Why? Don't you trust Me? Don't you think I can tell you what to do along the way?"
Isn't this the way everything is, though. He shows us the step we are on. Maybe a gray glimmer of the next step. We may even know we are doing prep work for a future step, but we don't know which step it is - next, or ten years from now. We want a plan, a vision for the whole of our lives. Except God knows that this isn't the whole of our lives. It isn't even a breath in them. It is a micro breath beginning to prepare us for our real life. Over and over I return to the same conclusion. I need to handle today and not worry about tomorrow. Because, no matter how Type A I am, no matter how much I want a plan, I am not the Planner. I am not in charge. So again, I let go and let God handle life.
"But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:33-34
School is a great example. People ask me how to homeschool, and I give them the patented homeschoolers reply - "What works for us, probably won't work for you. Here are some ideas, but you really have to figure it out for your family." The problem is, figuring it out for your family can be very scary. And even when you think you have it figured out, something changes and you have to flex with it. I have friends who run the gamut from total unschooling to sitting down at the table all morning to have school. Personally, I like something in between, maybe even leaning toward unschooling. My husband, however, definitely leans to the sitting at the table all morning. This leads to a struggle for me to balance everything out. And then, there is just balancing the time - for school, housework, errands, all the outside the house activities my kids want to do (some of which actually are necessary!). Over and over, I have asked God to give me a plan from now until my youngest graduates. A schedule, a syllabus you might say. You see, pre-kids, I did the classroom teaching thing. It is funny how people who don't homeschool hear that and think, "That is why they can homeschool and I can't," but people who homeschool realize what a HUGE handicap that is. Being a classroom teacher, you are used to being told what to teach when, and even a lot of the how. And teaching 35 kids is totally different than just one (or even four, for the few subjects everyone can do together). Anyway, I digress. Like I said, I want God to give me a syllabus from preschool to high school. Do you know what He tells me every time I ask - "Why? Don't you trust Me? Don't you think I can tell you what to do along the way?"
Isn't this the way everything is, though. He shows us the step we are on. Maybe a gray glimmer of the next step. We may even know we are doing prep work for a future step, but we don't know which step it is - next, or ten years from now. We want a plan, a vision for the whole of our lives. Except God knows that this isn't the whole of our lives. It isn't even a breath in them. It is a micro breath beginning to prepare us for our real life. Over and over I return to the same conclusion. I need to handle today and not worry about tomorrow. Because, no matter how Type A I am, no matter how much I want a plan, I am not the Planner. I am not in charge. So again, I let go and let God handle life.
"But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:33-34
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